“Mirror Mirror on the wall”.  What if the reflection we see in the mirror is a distortion?  What if the image looking back at us is not the image the rest of the world sees?  How can this happen?  How can we align our self image with the image we portray to the world?

I believe it has to do with self reflection, and a deep desire for change in our lives.  I would like to report that change has come easily for me just because I wanted it.  That has not been the case.  Pain is the motivator and I’m slightly disheartened to admit that.  I want the desire to grow, to be my motivator, and certainly aspire to that ideal.

There are aspects of our personality that may take years to register.  We come up against those that ‘call us out’ for how we show up.  We dismiss them!  We stubbornly refuse to see those patterns in our life that show up time and again.  We instead develop a ‘story’ about how it is ‘their’ fault.

When those close to us work up the courage to confirm “yes that is how you show up” we may retreat hurt, confused, angry or bitter.  We may also attack them so we can continue to live in the ‘story’.

What is the solution to our distorted self reflection?  Perhaps more self reflection as we continue to peel away our false selves to reveal our authentic self.  I don’t know if we ever reach perfect alignment.  I’m not sure we uncover all of our blind spots.  I’ve met some people who are close.  I have also experienced those who think they are closest to their real self are also often times the most self-deceptive. Those who harshly judge others are often the most insecure.

Stress can often ‘trigger’ a return to old ineffective patterns.  That air of superiority may appear on the outside to mask hurt internal feelings.  We may be misunderstood or worse not be able to understand how we show up in a way that pushes others away.

I do believe when we are ready, those layers begin to more easily slough off. The motivation of pain is often replaced by a desire to grow.  We become less defensive.  We ask more questions.  We listen more closely to what others have to share. For me, when someone makes an assessment, and I am able to laugh deeply at my folly rather than feel hurt or betrayed, then I believe I have started to heal that blind spot.

“Mirror Mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all?”

The mirror, replies “those who can laugh at themselves the hardest.”