Inner Dialogue on Shame

And Suddenly

Inner dialogue on shame. A friend had the courage to say “no more”.

In support of anyone, who says no more, and does their own work, this is for you!

I believe based on my current journey – which is ever fluid and evolving….

This is higher level work. We can choose to suffer, or we can choose to use this as an opportunity to grow.

Suffering is different from processing and feeling the pain of a horrific experience.

Suffering is grounded in shame. Feeling shame is grounded in honesty, vulnerability and touching on deep wounds within ourselves.

So for me, shame is not bad….. Shame is a gift. It provides the chance to reveal latent wounds we still have from our past experience.

I discovered shame was not even my own! How interesting.

Shame, was what I felt, because of what someone else did, not what I did.

It was their shame, that I took on as being who I am, which led to suffering.

Joyful people do not impregnate others with shame.

Reflect on this. Have you ever left the presence of a loving person filled with shame? Yes exactly, so we take on the illness of others, and falsely believe it is our illness.

So by shedding light on this shame we carry from another, we are declaring “I am ready to grow past this false identity, of who I think I am, based on another’s mental illness.”

This can be a messy, painful, disgusting, scary, and empowering process.

It is critical to stay close to those who are loving and supportive of our process. People Who encourage our work. Who love all parts of us!

Most can’t love all of themself – so they can’t love all of another.

So remember, just as we must own our reaction which is about our past experience – others reaction is about them and their past.

I want and deeply desire to be the most joyful and healed version of myself. So I choose to see these experiences as a gift for my own healing.

I used to suffer deeply and painfully and with great frequency. Then someone asked me “how does your suffering, help heal the suffering, in the world?”

It woke me up that my feeling the pain of others, just added to pain in the world.

Others want joy, warmth and comfort when they are suffering – just as we do – so I gave myself permission to be joyful despite the pain in the world; understanding that by doing so, my joyful presence created healing, whereas my suffering, just added to the darkness.

This helped me feel comfortable with being dedicated to SELFCARE, which the foreign internal shame voice labeled as selfish. It told me I was a bad person for only thinking of my selfish needs.

This was dark shame programming, by mentally ill people, which created my own internal confusion of the world based on the internal illness of others.

So I am well. I have no shame. I was infected at an early age. I don’t have to carry this anymore. It’s ok for me to be joyful. It’s ok for me to enjoy life and take care of my own needs now.

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