Prior to this work I had this core nagging feeling, I was not ok. Even if something was good in my life, this nagging dread it would come to an end played like an anxious tune of “London bridge is falling down, falling down….” in…
Now that we've outlined so much about the shame cycle let's take a day to reflect on the purpose of all this work. The purpose is to heal our shame so that we can act and live from a more loving state. Just how is…
N probably started off as an unusually sensitive child. Then through trauma, they became more and more numb. This numbness was a defense against being hurt emotionally. It was a defense against disappointment, feelings of helplessness, and being vulnerable (ever again). So they stopped maturing.…
A big block to growth was guessing “is it me or them?”. I didn’t realize how toxic shame cycles were. I didn’t understand that some people are overly sensitive (me) while some are insensitive (at times also me). I didn’t know this yen and yang…
Growth seekers become great observers. We watch and witness without getting enmeshed. This is not the same as putting people under a microscope. “Miscroscoping” is a word I’ve made up. I can tell when someone is microscoping me and I bet you can too! You…
Why do you lose yourself in N? First, you probably have your own trauma. Trauma victims often relate best to other trauma victims. You may have your own self-worth issues or most probably were raised by N yourself, so you're just repeating your trauma patterns.…
Once we identify our own inner N or shadow self and shine a light then we can lovingly deal with the N's in our lives. We can learn to either work in sync to grow together, set a limit to minimize the havoc they cause…
If we are disturbed it is a sign something within us is out of balance. Inner work is about returning our inner state to a state of balance. However, when out of balance we attract personality types. These types serve a purpose. They are the…
"The hardest truth I've ever swallowed is looking in the mirror and realizing at some point I went from being the victim to being the abuser." What happens when our hunger for power or fear of being hurt turns us into the aggressor? How will…
So what's it like in relationship with a benign narcissists or someone with narcissistic tendencies? We will call this 'living with N'. We are not going to address the malignant narcissist because there is already so much content out there, and the conclusion is always…